alan partridge lynn quotes
8. Gladiators Jet to host a Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield. Correctly watched. Lynn: Good. ", 13. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. And if you do Alan Partridge: [Interrupting] Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank. I do enjoy these chats in the morning. Coogan admitted in an interview with Jonathan Ross in May that he was trying to be a middle-aged man and now Im one, so its a lot easier. Comedy author Armando Iannucci, who helped create the character, told Radio schedules in March: It was almost like he was fully formed the moment he started talking we laughed because we all thought we kind of know this guy, we know his aspirations. This is der Autobahn! I will remain Pontius Partridge. I'll tolerate one, but not both. I was so happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. Alan Partridge: You know what this room says to me? And the bad news?Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you . Alan Partridge: Pity, because they were very keen on that one. Will this show on my invoice?. 7. Bloody Sunday Sunday. Felicity Montagu [Alan wipes a little bit off his cheek and licks it. But, yeah, I used to dream that one day I'd drive a brand-new Range Rover towing a speed boat. It's embarrassing. Colonel Mustard in the ensuite bathroom with the lead pipe. I want a second series. And its a great thing too. Who is French for water. 11. I'll tolerate one, but not both. 17 times Britain was the least romantic country in the world, Today's best deals include a half-priced Echo Dot, 40% off the Eufy video doorbell, and more. It's very futuristic, isn't it? Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. Alan Partridge: I do like that toilet. and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. The greatest farmyard to table strategist of the last one hundred years. ", Alan on Sonja: Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net!, Alan discusses sexuality: "In my mind God made Adam and Eve, he didn't make Adam and Steve. Right. Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. By. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes. Actor Alan Partridge: Get rid of her, Lynn, she's a drunk and a racist! He runs up on to the garage roof. What's going on?" Actually, I took some notes. And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. [They both talk together]. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? She's my favourite. Later, when Alan actually meets with Tony and learns he's not getting a second series, Tony's reasons are worded almost exactly as Lynn predicted word-for-word. It features Alan Partridge, a tactless and inept radio DJ, after he has been left by his wife and dropped from the BBC. Alan Partridge: Ah-haaaaa! Pat Farrell: Penny for them. Alan Partridge: Very cheap to make. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. Do you deny that? And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" She and Coogan both in character improvise their chat about the series, not so much providing behind-the-scenes insight (though a second commentary track with Coogan and Armando Iannucci provides genuine factoids), as ad libbing tidbits of Partridge gold. But, er, they're very nice. He must have a foot like a traction engine. 13. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. Quotes.net. In badminton, if you win a rally, you get one point. Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. Pat Farrell: I used to dream about growing old with someone I love. Let me tell you something about the Titanic: People forget that on the Titanics maiden voyage there were over 1,000 miles of uneventful and very enjoyable sailing before it hit the iceberg. It's called a Rover Metro now. "Lynn, get rid of her. Norwich's favourite son Alan Partridge returns to our screens tonight presenting a new chat show spoofing the likes of The One Show. Ill be honest, I died against it. This book is a top business aid. Whatever happens, her return is welcome in this next chapter of the Partridge saga. Picture that for a second - a blob of tofu the size and shape of a brain. In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. Tim Chester was Senior Editor, Real Time News in Los Angeles. Classic Conversation to Lynn about Dan "Dan's a fantastic man . Alan Partridge: Um Oh, very busy. I was supposed to hit that later. My mother and father were having the row to end all rows. Alan Partridge: I prefer to go alone. mccartney wings Felicity Montagu is coming back to play the tormented character. You may or may not want to deploy these in real life. But I suppose shes a bit like Burt Reynolds. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? You like to stick to your own. In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. Especially no Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNabb, which actually improves with every read. Welcome March with discounts on gadgets for your home. Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. Lynn Benfield: But you do have to make substantial savings. Er, I know some of you may be religious and to those people I apologi- Sorry. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. I realised I had nothing to worry about. Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! I said. He also thinks Wings was Paul McCartneys best band. Our goofy radio host gives a unique introduction to the world of drug-based sex fetishes. And Jews a little bit. (Not the catchphrase just a thought. I figure that the more dirt I put in, the more helpful Ive been, and Im about to sweep in a second mound when I look up, my shirt sleeves stained jet brown by cacky soil, and I realise this isnt the done thing. Both valid. Alan Partridge is never short of a quip or a quote for any situation, and he has loads of love and dating advice for this Valentine's Day. George Bernard Shaw The Deeply Graphic DesignCast Wes McDowell . (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Michael: [serving them their desserts] Here you go. Do it in a pub car park. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus. I cant put it back on. He said, You motherfucker and lightning fast, I said, Dont be blue, Peter!. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. The series was nominated for three BAFTAs (winning two), two British Comedy Awards (winning both), and a Royal Television Society award. She's my PA. Hard-worker, but there's no affection. I mean, people forget that traders need access to *DIXONS*! Alan Partridge: That's bollocks, but carry on. I'm not playing that again. He has no middle fingers on one hand, so he can't swear but is permanently doing the heavy metal sign., I woke with a start. Tony Hayers: Why would I want to do that? Television [Alan shrugs wordlessly. Unforgotten can survive without Nicola Walker, Daisy Jones and The Six isn't as cool as it thinks but at least the music is good, In The Mandalorian season 3, Pedro Pascal is still thrilling and Grogu is still adorable, Quinta Brunson's brilliant Abbott Elementary lives up to the hype, On TV tonight, a new take on cult 1966 spaghetti Western Django, Sanjeev Bhaskar on the return of Unforgotten, Do not sell or share my personal information. LIKE our Facebook page here..http://on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here..http://alanpartridgeworld.com/10 Alan Partridge Quotes and clips that will ha. Share on Facebook (opens in a new window), Share on Flipboard (opens in a new window). Imagine ITV is a housing estate. Which actually improves with every read. A detective series based in Norwich called "Swallow". Alan Partridge: Smell my cheese, you mother! Which ironically is like a large petrol station. You make pigs smoke. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. . Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Thanks for signing up. Let battle commence The above quote was used as he was speaking to Sonja just as they were about to sleep together. Dropped it. Tony Hayers: [laughing and shaking his head] No, no, it's a bad idea. Glanalangalangalangalangalang! Supporting Coogan are Felicity Montagu as his faithful but timid personal assistant, Lynn Benfield; Simon Greenall as Geordie handyman Michael; and Phil Cornwell as Partridge's rival DJ Dave Clifton. What a great song. Would you like a second series of your chat show? 27. All do that with your fingers round your eye. Tony Hayers: Alan, this is Peter Linehan, he's revamping our current affairs output. Art criticism was clearly not Partridges calling. [He laughs and leaves the room] Alan Partridge: Most times. At first I assumed Id trumped myself awake again ., My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. The show follows Partridge as he lives in a roadside hotel, presents a graveyard slot on Norwich local radio, and desperately pitches ideas for new television shows. Alan Partridge: I will not have uncleansed coffee cups in Pear Tree Productions. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. What a year it's been for Dante. This book would fit ideally into, er, an attache case or the thigh pocket of a pair of fashionable combat trousers. Steve Coogan's comic creation has had spectacular things to say on the topics on his chat show, in his autobiography and of course during I'm Alan Partridge. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. The most horrific moment in Partridge history. Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? There is never any graffiti in the hotel. [Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper]. I think we all did. "Alan Attack!". 20. Also, I'll be asking: Which is the worst monger? I'd gan back to school. And now I did trump. Lynn Benfield: With a skeleton staff of two Alan Partridge: I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. [a pause as Alan looks at the estate agent]. Partridge only draws his words of wisdom from the best sources. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of his Blue Peter career. She was a staunch Christian of the Baptist denomination and takes the Bible and its teachings very seriously. 25 of the most 'textbook' Alan Partridge quotes. Blow 'im to bits. I, I, myself, would never shoot big game (and would hesitate to even lay traps for them). Sophie Rundle: Motherhood has made me too tired to people-please', When presenter Steve Allen left LBC and his statement following immediate exit, Date of Ken Bruce's final day on Radio 2 and why he's leaving for Greatest Hits early, The Witch Trials of JK Rowling makes sensible points. I am invited to be the first to throw earth into the grave. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now f*** off! Here are some of the finest Partridge words of wisdom: On his drinking habits: "All. Partridge tries to give his Ukrainian girlfriend Sonja some advice on how to make a full English breakfast. No, seriously, run. Estate Agent: Would have been a different story, really. Lynn Benfield: But if you do, you can keep Pear Tree Productions going with a skeleton staff of two, and Alan Partridge: There's no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I am not driving a Mini-Metro. Thanks very much for the gearknob, and good night. Alan Partridge: Hm. What a great song. But Im Alan Partridge was to be her first major, recurring comedy role, and one that she really made her own. [they are then interrupted by a man who comes up to the table and greets Tony]. Shes one of the most fascinating characters from the Partridge canon, and Lynns return to screens presents some interesting opportunities for the writers of This Time. I am standing by a graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. 30. Alan: "Thanks a lot! Strawberries and cream. It must not, I will not repeat it, turn into a nocturnal rave. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women." Alan Partridge 1 likes Like "Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit." All Rights Reserved. Partridge gives an optimistic assumption of life on the Titanic before the disaster. sufferers about the condition. I mean, people forget that traders need access to * DIXONS *! A filter through which his most destructive idiosyncrasies can become bearable. Web. No. The SAG Awards are this weekend, but where can you stream the show? Just passed his details on to the Social Services. Peter Linehan: Has he given you another series? Alan Partridge: Yeah, well, that's not good enough. My backside pleads with me to continue but I resist, and in a few seconds the itch subsides on its own, as I knew it would.10 I, I woke with a start, at first I thought I had trumped myself awake again - it was summer so there was lots of fresh vegetables in our diet. Lynn Benfield: No, no, no, it's different. You can leave via the fire escape. Ive a powerful suck and soon theyll be whittled away to nothing. Alan Partridge: Oh, I know, I am a bit mad. Itll probably all come crashing down in the end. But fine, I'll sack her. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. Michael: [Speaking too quickly] Ye knaw, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night. There's a demonstration model tied to the chair with a skipping rope by that woman. Michael: Me, I'd, I-I-I'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter. Quiz: which of these Alan Partridge-esque TV shows are actually real? Shes a hard worker. Back of the net!" 8. Lost in the depths of despair I tried to figure out what I had done to deserve this. Here. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? They say it will help people in * wheelchairs *. I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. Web. And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' Certainly not 'Bravo Two Zero' by Andy McNabb. That's English for stop a horse! We could sort these pies right away. I am Roger Moore. Hello, Tony. Can I No, in fact I'll just repeat the question. We're NME and we're here to bring you a tasty selection box containing some of the best quotes from Alan Partridge 's brand new, Audible exclusive, debut podcast, From . . Calm down, Lynn! I was just making a pun on your name. Alan: "Oh come on." Jill: "Yeah, alright then." 7. But as I listened through the darkness I realized that something far worse was going on. Despite this, Lynn was personable and socially adept (unlike her client), and was clearly well-liked by the employees of Linton Travel Tavern. Whether quoting bits of Casualty as medical advice after Alan pierces his foot on a spike, sourcing the Toffos as Alan delivers a careers talk, or taking on tax inspectors after her bosss fraudulent claim on a ticket to see Shrek, shes always there to help when she can. He puts some coins on the bedside cabinet]. ", 7. from Mashable that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content. These are not my words, Carol, these are the words of Top Gear Magazine. Discovery alleges that Paramount undercut their $500 million deal. Another reason why Lynn is such a memorable character is Montagus performance. Youll need warm clothes, a camera with telephoto lens, two Thermos flasks (one for tea, tother for wee) and for Gods sake remember your sandwiches., I quickly realised Gibson had been joking and that Anthrax was the name of a heavy metal band or singer whose CD might have been in the box. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?Lynn: Oh, I just threw it on.Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. It's soup you can eat - that's not so liquid. So they ride the money, bang a few heads together. Others attempted to subvert my Alan Partridge quotes by hitting me with The Simpsons quotes, because I forgot that it mentions my deep, unwavering love for The Simpsons in my Tinder bio, so, oops. ", 6. I'll call you back. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. I wasn't an evil person. By signing up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications Lynn: We might give you a second series. Go and eat some coffee. You will miss it. 1 on Billboard 200 Billboard. Mind if I have a go? Y'know, a lot a' them's from broken hawmes. john lennon You are someone who has a proven track record for making mostly bad television programs. Take her out to a local fort or a Victorianfolly. Welcome back. 1 Mar. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head! I say, 'Right. [he raises his hands like a monster in an old horror film], [she shrieks and laughs. I'm Alan Partridge (series 1 and 2), I, Partridge, Alpha Papa, Nomad, This Time Alan Partridge: See, you did it again! Jill smiles at him], [Alan is on a date with Jill at an owl sanctuary]. Bits come out my shoe. 26. I have to say, Pat, kids dont make you happy. No, it's alright, I was just portraying a madman. Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. Use a sausage as a breakwater. No! Before that, he was Deputy Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and development on the London-based music and entertainment site. Only Christians. Michael: [in his very broad Geordie accent] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge! You're the subject of a sacking, I want you off these premises in 10 minutes. But what is the burning issue? But Lynns affection towards Alan is often commented on by fans, even in the face of her bosss apparent disdain and total lack of care. "Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman.". Alan Partridge: [quietly] Thank you. As I'm sure, er, as I'm sure you are, sir. Alan Partridge: It's good this, isn't it? Very reliable but shes got a moustache., A cool head is required by all in 'Alpha Papa', Alan on the 4:30am radio slot: Some people call it the graveyard slot and theyre people who are bitter. Erm, do you know you've got chocolate on your face? Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. Other great ideas Partridge had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? You suffer from whiplash in underage women . You're sacked! Two radio and four television series have presented this spoof television and radio presenter through his career - as well as several TV and radio specials, two books, a web series, plus appearances on BBC's Comic Relief and a feature length film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?Alan Partridge: The good news.Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow.Alan Partridge: Excellent. He was all over the place!, Its 20 February 1995. People may associate it with me. Through various TV shows, film, book and even podcasts, Partridges squeaky sensibility and dated take on British life have endeared him to millions of fans and helped inspire other comedy shows. Alan Partridge: [Opening a file] Right, OK. Shoestring, Taggart, Spender, Bergerac, Morse. Oh, God no! Tim loves music and travel Hit your targets or you'll be fired. Sure enough, I got into the spirit and played a practical joke on Gibson by getting my assistant to phone him during one of his shows to tell him his elderly mother had had a fall. My girlfriend's 33. Urrgh. Alan answers it, it's Michael]. paradise, something Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesnt quite fit his blind worldview. Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Very, sort of, high-tech, space age. https://www.quotes.net/movies/i%27m_alan_partridge_103175, https://www.quotes.net/movies/i'm_alan_partridge_quotes_103175. Before that he was Deputy Editor of Mashable UK in London. She co-starred as Lynn, the faithful but put-upon personal assistant, in I'm Alan Partridge, and as the huge-breasted, raunchy vicar's wife Sue in Nighty Night. Topics. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. Idiot. Here are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle' #620. Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. Which is French for water. Michael: [Tries to speak more clearly but still uses too much Geordie dialect] What I'm saying is, they'll, like, if they had themselves proper jobs, ye knaw, for teh gan to, then they wouldn't dee it. Cooking in prison. I love this house. Michael: Aye. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. A sudden shot of fear ripped through my pre-pubic body. Lynn Anne BenfieldwasAlan Partridge's personal assistant. [Tony shakes his head again] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave'. Alan Partridge: Yeah, I've just been eating some mousse. That's terrible. 2023. Dont. And then yeah, you can stop doing that now. Share PINTEREST Email Print Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images By. Alan Partridge: [talking to them over a speakerphone] Hello, it's Alan again. [Alan is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset]. ", Alan responds to Irish history: If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day you will pay the price if youre a fussy eater., Alan responds to being fired: Smell my cheese!, Alan on the Daily Mail: Its arguably the best newspaper in the world. Cook a cat! The latest on your favourite shows and stars delivered straight to your inbox. Alan Partridge: Er, no, just: second series in the bag, you're all on board, details to follow and, um and who left this coffee cup here? 9. Id just like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk. We haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. 1. You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!". I heard a bit of commotion. [5] Jill: "I don't recall saying that." I was a little bored so I took my Corby trouser press apart. getty images I cut it right in half, right? You, look at you, do you, uh go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall? He's an idiot. Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. Madeline Mussen. rock band Fly over one of those boring families going on a cycling vacation. Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. Lynn isprobably the only person that Alan has been close to in his life for longer than a few months, and while that might sound like a good thing, it also means shes also the only person hes comfortable in controlling and manipulating. It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. On the best way to spend a date (to his son):"Fernando, youre 22 years old and youre spending yourSaturday afternoon in bed with a girl, youre wasting your life. Steve Coogan was only 26 when he first played the role in Episode 1 of the satirical news program On the Hour on BBC Radio 4 in the UK. And I dont mean a little. Watch him in action at the wheel below By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Ooooooh, it's a good paper. It's called a Rover Metro now. Lynn: Good. Stop! Mashable is a registered trademark of Ziff Davis and may not be used by third parties without express written permission. We're on a submarine. I can imagine Buck Rogers taking a dump on that. 29. [He laughs and leaves the room], [He shuts the door. Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course they're altogether a higher class of fat lady. On the best thing to say after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? Two fat ladies, 88! Partridges sexy speech leaves a lot to the imagination. 17. I dont like it: it hurts. Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. By NME Blog. Bad Credit Loans: How To Avoid Scams Online? 'Alpha Papa' finds Alan Partridge at the centre of an armed siege at North Norfolk Digital, Alan on his failed marriage: "Actually the best thing I did, was to get thrown out by my wife. No! Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?
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